Nhằm chính thức hóa quan hệ hôn nhân của hai gia đình, nhưng hiện nay một số quan niệm cho rằng vì lễ dạm ngõ quá mang tính thủ tục nên không cần thiết nữa.Thực sự có nên như thế?

Lễ dạm ngõ được xem như là buổi gặp gỡ giữa hai gia đình. Cùng với ý nghĩa đó, nhà trai đến xin nhà gái chính thức cho phép đôi nam nữ được công khai tìm hiểu nhau một cách kỹ càng hơn trước khi đi đến quyết định hôn nhân. Buổi lễ này hiện nay không cần vai trò kết nối hay hẹn trước của người mai mối (kể cả những trường hợp yêu nhau nhờ mai mối), cũng không cần cả lễ vật hay nghi thức rườm rà.

Lễ dạm ngõ là cuộc gặp gỡ hai gia đình

Lễ dạm ngõ là cuộc gặp gỡ giữa hai gia đình trước khi đi đến quyết định hôn nhân

Sau những nghi lễ xã giao ban đầu, hai gia đình có thể trò chuyện cởi mở, hướng đến bầu không khí ấm áp, thân tình. Thế nên hiện nay đây chỉ là buổi lễ mang tính hình thức, được xem cho đủ thủ tục với nhau nên không ít đôi uyên ương hay gia đình trước khi cưới gả lại băn khoăn không biết có nên duy trì hay không.

Lễ dạm ngõ mang tính xã giao ban đầu

Lễ dạm ngõ là nghi lễ xã giao ban đầu mang tính hình thức

Xét về bản chất, lễ này chỉ là một trong những cách ứng xử văn hóa mà thông qua đó hai gia đình biết cụ thể về nhau hơn như về gia cảnh, gia phong, kinh tế, nề nếp sinh hoạt…, từ đó dẫn đến quyết định có nên tiếp tục hay không mối quan hệ hôn nhân của đôi trẻ hai gia đình.

Các gia đình Việt luôn thực hiện lễ dạm ngõ

Các gia đình người Việt luôn thực hiện buổi lễ này giúp con cháu duy trì nét văn hóa truyền thống

Xét về mặt chức năng, nếu hai bên thông gia bỏ qua lễ dạm ngõ này mà đi thẳng vào lễ ăn hỏi thì mọi việc sẽ bị cảm thấy đường đột, ngang tắt, không có khởi đầu. Căn bản một số gia đình thậm chí còn chưa hề biết mặt nhau do ở quá xa.Vì thế, tuy không phải là một lễ trọng nhưng theo quan điểm chung của đại đa số người Việt, đây lại là một buổi lễ không nên thiếu trong tiến trình hôn lễ. Hơn nữa, lễ này cũng không quá tốn kém hay đòi hỏi gì cao siêu mà lại biểu thị được bản sắc văn hóa dân tộc ngàn năm nay, thế nên việc bỏ qua lễ này có vẻ như không hợp lý cho lắm. Đối với lễ này, hiện nay hầu hết các gia đình Việt vẫn tiến hành theo khuôn mẫu cổ truyền, cũng xem như là giáo dục con trẻ sống uống nước nhớ nguồn, duy trì văn hóa tốt đẹp cho đời sau.

Vân Ngô

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